About Melissa Stone, PhD
Integrated Attachment Coach
Dr. Melissa Stone first encountered Attachment Theory in 2007, studying it through the lens of child development. After her divorce, she began to recognize how deeply her own childhood Attachment Style was shaping her adult romantic life -influencing her beliefs, reactions, communication and emotional patterns in ways she had not consciously chosen.
In 2021, she began studying Thais Gibson's Integrated Attachment Theory (IAT) in earnest and committed to the journey of becoming "earned secure". In 2024, she went on to her IAT coaching certification. In 2025, she founded Attachment Pathway Coaching, AttachmentPathway.com and the Attachment Pathway Podcast.
Short Interview with Melissa
When asked "What do you offer to your Integrated Attachment Coaching clients?" Melissa says:
"Every week, I work with hundreds of people through webinars, Q&As, small groups and private coaching. A great number of them share one hidden struggle: insecure attachment is quietly running the show.
For many, including the high-achieving and outwardly successful ones, it shows up as a pattern of choosing partners who either cling and smother them, or vanish the moment things get real. Others feel stuck in cycles of anxiety, overthinking or emotional whiplash. And some can't name the problem at all. They just know something feels 'off' in their relationships.
When they finally learn about Attachment Patterns, everything snaps into focus. It's a massive relief when they realize they are not broken or imagining things -their nervous systems are simply wired for old Attachment Patterns.
My Integrated Attachment Coaching method helps them update that wiring. They learn to align with their own needs, communicate clearly and without fear, attract emotionally available partners, and build the kind of secure, steady love that their systems have been craving all along.
"What is your personal experience with Integrated Attachment Theory " Melissa grins widely:
"It changed my life. For more than 20 years, I studied many systems, theories and practices. I have worked with thousands of individuals and groups in conflict in 10+ countries -many in war prone regions, helping people navigate conflict, trauma and change. Despite all that training and experience, as well as multiple modalities of therapy, nothing shifted my own relationship patterns the way Integrated Attachment Theory did.
"Most of us simply don't understand that our Attachment Style -not our intentions, not our intelligence, not our effort- quietly shapes every romantic relationship, and other relationships, too. We repeat the same Attachment Patterns with others, feel the same frustrations, and assume something is wrong with the people we choose. All the while, we live with secret worry: that maybe there is something wrong with us.
When I applied Integrated Attachment Theory to my own life, everything began to click into place. I began to understand the predictable dance between partners: how it starts and escalates, and how each person plays a specific role in unconsciously reinforcing the dynamic -which becomes progressively more imbalanced when one or both people have an insecure Attachment Style. Then, I realized that the only part of the dance I can truly change is my contribution.
Seeing for myself that my early Attachment Style had been coloring my perception for decades was life-altering. It was like discovering that I had been born wearing blue-tinted glasses that filtered my vision of the world without me knowing it. When I finally took them off, the colors of my relationships, my choices, and my emotional landscape became unmistakably clear.
That same clarity is what I help my clients create for themselves -so they can turn their Attachment Style from something that controls them into something they finally understand, see and can transform."
If you ask: "Why should I care about Integrated Attachment Theory? " Melissa has an answer:
"If you suspect that early Attachment Patterns are still shaping your relationships: your reactions under stress, the way you communicate, the partners you choose - then you have reached a crossroads, and you have two options:
(1) Take the wheel of your own relational life, consciously learn your patterns, understand your triggers; and actively steer your communication, boundaries and partner choices with clarity and self-respect.
(2) Stay on autopilot and hope for the best, letting outdated patterns unconsciously, quietly and blindly dictate how you show up, what you tolerate and who you chose.
The difference will be stunning. Attachment Pathway coaching provides you with a GPS for navigating though option (1). The decision is yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In addition to the PhD degree in Transformative Learning and Systems of Human Change (2004), Melissa has a Master's Degree in Human and Organizational Transformation (2001) from the School of Consciousness and Transformation at the California Institute of Integral Studies; a Bachelor's (1985) and Master's (1997) in Russian and Soviet Studies from the University of Virginia. She also has earned certificates in Generative Leadership (2014), Principles of Public Health (2017), and Integrated Attachment Theory (2025).
She applied many of these studies to her 15+ years of work abroad human rights advising and managing programs in conflict-prone countries including Azerbaijan, Belarus, Kosovo, Liberia, Mongolia, Russia, Sierra Leone, Ukraine and Uzbekistan; and 15+ more years of work on civil rights and liberties and public interest advising in the US. She is also a human resources professional specializing in talent recruitment and development, and a coach for individuals and groups seeking guidance and support for applying Integrated Attachment Theory in interpersonal as well as professional relationships.